As I wander around the malls of America a few things have occurred to me. Interracial relationships are growing ever so popular but there is a clear divide between the participants. Initially I assumed that all white women who dated black men had basically the same views on interracial dating. Now I see that there are those people who will date someone of any race and race doesn’t matter as long as there is chemistry, attraction and common interests. The fact that they are of another race is more incidental than purposeful.

Then there are the others…..

Today I will explore those women who say they will only date black men. They are easily identifiable and commonly held in contempt by other women. Just in case you cannot locate them I have put together a list that should make them stand out in a crowd like a fly in a bowl of milk.

As with most things not all apply in every case but these are my favorites so enjoy….

1. Language– They always speak like they are straight from the hood. They use more slang than black people. They don’t have either the capabilities or the  desire to use good English. They attempt to relate with language and to most educated black men they sound ignorant and its common to hear them say “If I wanted a woman who acted like that, I’d date a black women.”

2. Attire– They dress very flashy, or at least flashy in comparison to other white people. They wear a lot of hip hop gear or are very fashion conscience. They may wear a lot of jewelry. They get the same name brands that other white women get but tend to lean toward the urban wear. You will never catch them in old navy gear.

3. Attitude– they tend to be more flexible in their belief system. More willing to compromise their values, more willing to put up with stuff.  While another women may be traumatized by the things happening in her life, she just rolls with the punches as it is just par for the course. She “expects” certain things to happen during the course of the relationship so while she will still raise hell about them she will still deal with it but NEVER admit it to anyone but her mirror……because she got an attitude.

4. Volume- they tend to be louder or more arrogant or more demanding in nature. Maybe not to their man cause he might beat that ass but due to the increased frustrations she has to endure with him, she takes it out on others in her life. The relationship with her family members is strained, not because she is dating a black man but more because she is dating a HORRIBLE, black, man. She may stay with him longer just to prove a point.

5. Low self- esteem– lots of women in general have self esteem issues. Its natural to be overly judgment of ourselves if for no other reason than society has this impossible image they portray for the world that we try so hard to emulate and can’t help but feel like a failure because we can’t reach an unattainable goal….but I digress……………I don’t mean this kind of self esteem issues.. I mean the kind that will allow them to accept brothas approaching them for sex without dating, gifts without a relationship and bargain with their feelings on their sleeve. So as long as the guy with the swift tongue, slick words and “spinners” gives them a little attention they are interested. They can also not have much in the way of a social life or maybe they weren’t too popular when they were  growing up but in this new “culture” they are, all the guys are  in their face all the time. They get “mad luv”

6. Sex– The rumors, the rumors, the rumors, I won’t get into the speculation  of whether or not it’s true but the curiosity it there. If they are inclined to lean that way anyway then it gives them an excuse whereas if for no other reason they can blame it on the size of their man’s “swag” then they can say “yeah I know he aint shit but he’s packin and he handling bizness”. It gives them a built in excuse to hang around when they need to make excuses for their more logical friends.

7. Education– Here is where it gets tricky because you have sub-groupings and there is almost a logical linking to certain other items on this list.

a- You will either have the less educated ones that grew up either in the hood or near enough to get in trouble. They are not as afraid because they have a comfort level from their past experiences and most of the people in their lives have other struggles so this one is not such a big deal. The fuss is minimal.

b. You will have the college educated ones that are attracted to sports, athletic or entertainment types. Not realizing initially that most guys in these fields cheat incessantly on their women. It is partly that they have gotten a little full of themselves and partly because there are so many women in competition and they are willing to do some of the other things on this list making it too easy to conquer. Also, because there is such a glut of black men who are in jail, on drugs, beating their women, etc; these types have a little more to offer so the women tend to bend over backwards (literally) to get them. The mentality here is, “I don’t have to be a good man, I just have to be better than the last nigga”

Ignorance is bliss isn’t it?

  1. Lori
    April 22, 2010 at 2:55 am

    And maybe most available black men are rude, dishonest and have no integrity so with all that it will always be unsuccessful

    • justgrazing101
      December 13, 2010 at 6:07 am

      I’m afraid that just isnt the case. In most cases where you find the men you describeit is more what you are putting out is what you are getting back. In fact the better “qualified” the male is, the less likely he is to tolerate things.

  2. Me
    April 22, 2010 at 2:59 am

    And there are no available successful black men. If they are available then they are unsuccessful. Maybe you should write about how a black man should successfully date a white woman. Give them tips because they need some.

    • justgrazing101
      December 13, 2010 at 6:11 am

      Another comment based in bias and ignorance. Making blanket statements like these only encourages the myth that a black male cannot be both successful and available. Here is a tip for you…..If you stop searching for men in bars and internet dating sites then maybe you would find a better quality candidate. Likely written by someone who falls into one of the catagories above but in the interest of fairness, I will write the very article she mockingly suggested…..at 3:00am no less.

  3. Kristie
    December 18, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    All I could do as smile while reading this. Honestly, I agree with you! The only thing that you forgot is that “these women” are so lonely that they will do anything to find a man. EVEN MESS WITH A MARRIED ONE. She will go to the end of the earth and back to “show him she is better then his wife,” then when she gets caught the ghetto comes out and she swears “she don’t get down like that.” Word to the wise…he is not going to leave his wife and family for you….your a object in motion…so keep it pushin honey!!!

    And another thing, when your self esteem takes another blow (because he didn’t leave his wife) just accept one more time in your life you couldn’t keep a man. Don’t be bitter!

    • justgrazing101
      January 2, 2011 at 9:07 am

      Hahahaha Bravo Kristie….well said, I did in fact forget that point.

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