Home > Relationships, Uncategorized > Brutal Honesty, is there such a thing?

Brutal Honesty, is there such a thing?

            As much as it pains me to say this I must confess that the belief that honesty can be brutal is little more than a myth proposed by the hurt recipient. Honesty in its purest form is no more difficult to accept than attending a comedy show and sitting in the front row. You may be the focus for a little while but as long as you don’t take it personally then there is no long-term damage. I take on this position based on my evolving understanding of parenthood, relationships and my undying desire to eat regularly otherwise known as ‘work’.

           I am known as a pessimist by some and as too honest for corporate america by others. So while I already have strong beliefs about this, I feel the need to qualify my statements with illustrations and examples. Let us begin first in the workplace since it is where we are most likely to be encouraged to lie for the benefit of others. When a co-worker comes over and leans in a little too close, is it impolite to suggest that maybe he skipped a tooth or two while brushing this morning?

Should I instead secretly hold my breath while he melts my nose hairs and singes my eyebrows? Is there an appropriate amount of time to wait before mentioning that he needs to step back because I need to start breathing again? Would it be considered rude to say for instance; ‘Excuse me but your breath really smells bad’. What harm could that really cause? I would think the person while initially embarrassed would want to know. It is akin to having a booger waving from one’s nostrils without a clue. It’s my belief that knowing is better than not so I err on the side of being humane.

Can I PLEASE say this without raising the eyebrows of the masses? Some children are just plain bad



 Yes, I said it without the slightest moment of hesitation. Let me clarify, all children can be unruly at times but some children are just plain old, ill-behaved, head scratching, stick beating, bad. Now I guess I must share that I am from the generation that believes that children when necessary should be beat. There is only so much a timeout is going to discourage. Sometimes a good old-fashioned pop in the mouth is good for the soul and will be remembered a lifetime.  Now don’t get me wrong dear readers, I’m not talking about abuse. I don’t encourage or support the abuse or excessive physical harm to another human being because you are just not creative enough or too lazy to come up with anything else. Sometimes parents need to stop worrying so much about being a friend to their children and worry more about the long-term impact of not being their friend all the time.  Worry more about them loving you when they are 25 than liking you when they are 15.

I visited with a friend over this weekend and little ‘terry’ came running into the room where the adults were and decided to stop the entire conversation to share about his latest escapade. Now, while little terry is adorable I do believe that the parents should have shuttled them off or at least corrected them on the proper way to enter a conversation. Another guest apparently agreed and attempted to correct the little bugger and was promptly told to shut (as they say) the fuck up. Now I almost caught myself snatching up this child who I have seen no less than a week ago in the mall on one of those parent leashes. My better instinct overruled and I got about 2 inches from the tip of his nose. I then mentioned in his own colorful language that if I ever heard him use adult language like that again I would turn his hide the color of his favorite crayon. Amazingly, he decided that instead of taking me up on my offer it was a better idea to just leave. Remarkable how that works huh? When the parent arrived and heard about my exchange her face turned as white as a ghost and she stood in amazement that I would do such a thing. Well as candidly as I possibly could I informed her that the little demon seed needed his ass whipped and if she couldn’t handle it, I’d do it for a sip of iced tea. For some strange reason she asked me to leave.

Does this dress make me look fat?


Why don’t you love me anymore? Do you find that girl attractive? My throat hurts do you really want me to give you a blow job tonight? Now, I’m not sure if people asked you these kind of idiotic questions because they are hoping that you just tell them what they want to hear or if they are just gluttons for punishment. It’s not the dress that makes you look fat hunny; it’s the fat that makes you look fat. I don’t love you because I found out that you are not the lady in the streets and freak in the sheets that you promised. You picked your nose at olive garden and will only participate in three positions unless I get you drunk. Do I want a blowjob? Under ALL circumstances the answer to that question remains yes unless my dick is literally on fire and in that case do it with ice. I mean really, should I be overly concerned with sparing the feelings of my partner or think about the long-term impact of giving a less than honest answer? I’m sorry but I believe in making short-term sacrifices for long-term gains. If I don’t tell her the truth I will suffer in the long-term and she will be encouraged to keep asking me stupid questions. So the way I look at it, it’s a win/win situation.

 So when faced with a difficult situation ask yourself…what do I want to deal with tomorrow? Because the answer you give today will dictate that. Save both them and yourself the heartache of a lie. There is nothing brutal about preserving your own sanity. The only brutatility is in letting the actions of others dictate your own and drive you crazy.

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